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In Episode 22, we touched briefly on getting the beatdown from our parents. To clarify, I was not abused. I just got good, solid Ric Flair knife-hand chops when I misbehaved. My mom did not mess around guys. There was a science, a method to her madness, if you will. The routine was as follows: mother finds my hidden report card stuffed in the trash. Mother calmly asks how my day went. Mother asks when my report card is coming because Danny’s mom apparently found Danny’s grades under his bed. I say “What the heck! The mailman lost it again?! I did so well this time too!” (I’m a terrible actor). Mother pulls out crumpled “progress report” (should be called “regress report”) and scolds me for my accumulation of B’s and a C in Spanish. “What are you,” she screams “president of BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation)?” I laugh but not for long. She chases me upstairs and corners me in the hallway. I get a knife-hand chop to the chest and she calmly says “go bring hanger.” I know the routine and by now I know all hope is lost. I bring the thick mahogany hanger from her closet and proceed to cry like a school girl.

I am not cised for physical pain but knowing that my mother had full control during my WWE Raw matches was much better than a reckless, chaotic type of fury that some people beat their kids with. A physical presence is needed in children’s lives so they can grow up to respect authority and not shoot up their schools. If you have kids one day, give em a good (controlled) smackdown every once in awhile. They will turn out lovely like your boys, Jon and Danny… and make fun of you on a weekly podcast show for the world to hear.

The Hurt Locker won big during the Academy Awards last night. There were many great moments so feel free to comment on your faves here! We talk a little about Korean parents (we happen to be of Korean descent) and how they have a tendency to get a little violent.

We were pleasantly surprised to get a call from Youtube phenom, David Choi, on this episode. He was candid in answering our random questions and sang a little for us too! Make sure you guys pick up David Choi’s album on iTunes and check davidchoimusic.com

Also on this ep.- Figure skating Gold Medalist, Kim Yu-Na (we’ve been mispronouncing her name wrong all along) and how to pick up the ladies. Jon used to write music for the ladies. FAIL!

Keep on listening in and let us know how we’re doing… COMMENT!

5 dollar…5 dollar footlong (ANY ANY). 5…5 dollar…5 dollar footlong (ANY ANY).

Give me back that filet-o-fish. Give me that fish. Give me back that filet-o-fish. Give me that fish. What if it were you hanging up on this wall? If it were you in that sandwich, you wouldn’t be laughing at all.

I’m having a hard time deciding which jingle is more catchy. The $5 dollar footlong Subway jingle or McDonald’s filet-o-fish jingle. Yes, these are the things that I often think about. Health care? The unemployment rate? Who cares?! I want to know if 5….5 dollar…5 dollar footlong (ANY ANY) is better than Give me back that filet-o-fish. Give me that fish. This is so hard. Its like trying to figure out if you like your mom more than your dad. Anyways, we can all agree that Wendy’s "You know when its real" jingle sucks. Shame on you, Wendy’s. Why did you get rid of "Its waaaaay better that fast food. It’s Wendy’s." ? I thought that was unique and cool. You go from that to "You know when it’s real"?! Negative points for you, Wendy’s. Double stamp it. No erasees.

Speaking of Subway, I probably eat Subway for lunch 3 times a week. Its next door to my office and I’m too lazy to go anywhere else.  You know how Subway has that distinct Subway odor right when you walk in the door? Well, I can no longer smell it anymore. That’s how often I go. During the lunch hour rush, the line can get pretty long. Luckily for us, there are about 14 Subway employees working behind the counter so the line moves pretty quickly. I think they employ one person for each topping. And the employees are all the same height. They’re like Subway oompa-loompas. Anyways, I went to Subway today and there was this young asian guy in front of me in line talking with his co-workers. I hated him from the moment I saw him. He was ugly, short, loud, and thought way too highly of himself. He acted like he was the coolest guy in the room. He was totally d-bagging it up. You could tell that his co-workers didn’t even like him. He kept holding up the line. The line would move in front of him but he had no idea because he was b.s-ing way too much about "work" or whatever. What’s worse is that it took FOREVER for him to order.

D-bag: "Uhhh can I get a…uhhh….turkey."
Employee: "6 inch? Footlong? What kind of bread?"
D-bag: "Uhhh…yeah footlong. What bread do you have?"
Employee: "Here." (points at a picture of the different breads thats right in front of his face)
D-bag: "Uhh…..white." (why the F would you ask what kind of bread they have when you’re ordering regular white bread, you dick?!)
Employee: "Cheese?"
D-bag: "Uhhh ok. Wait. Yeah, ok."
Employee: "Lettuce?..Sir?"
D-bag: "No lettuce…wait. Yeah, a little bit of lettuce. Uhhh…a little more. Ok, that’s good."
Employee: "Sir?…SIR?" (she is waiting for him to continue and has her hand over the tomatoes and is just staring at him in disbelief).
D-bag: "Uhhhhhhh…..tomatoes….uhhhhhhh……let’s see…uhhhhhhh…mustard…uhhhh…what are those things called?"
Employee: "Banana Peppers." (She can barely speak english and even she knows that they’re called banana peppers).
D-bag: "Yeah that. Uhhhhhhh…..Durrrrrrr….."
Employee: "Anything else?!" (Clearly annoyed at this point and muttering curse words in Spanish under her breath).
D-bag: "Uhhhhhhhhh. No."

OMG. It took that loser like 20 minutes to order. I was so annoyed at him and his 1993 wardrobe. Damn I hate him! Well, whatever. He’s probably a nice guy.

The Oscar Awards is airing this weekend. There were some great movies up for ‘best picture’. They extended the list to 10 films this year but all were pretty decent films- atleast the 8 that I watched. My personal top 3 movies of ‘09:

1) The Hurt Locker
2) Avatar
3) Inglorious Basterds

I really love phenomenal movies with talented actors. Great acting and directing is what put The Hurt Locker at #1 for me. Rotten Tomatoes currently has this flick at 97% fresh which is un-freaking-heard of! Jeremy Renner is an excellent lead role so make sure you guys check it out. I also get a little cised for Leonardo DiCaprio’s acting skills lately. I’m a hetero dude but this guy makes me want to watch Romeo & Juliet while eating Ben & Jerry’s Cake Batter ice cream. “I AM FORTUNE’s FOOL!”

Even though I’m a sucker for a good love story, no chance I will shed a tear. It’s not because I’m a macho-man-randy-savage or because there’s anything wrong with a dude that cries (I’m lying, it actually IS a little girly), but I have an inability to shed tears like normal humans do. There is one time I nearly had a droplet recently. When Kim Yu-Na finished her gold medal winning routine last week at the Olympic games. WHEW that was a close call. My dad told me he cried like a baby so I felt a little better about myself. My best chance of crying though, like if my eyes are getting dry and my contacts need re-wetting, is to watch sports-themed movies. I will cry like Lebron “Queen” James does when he doesn’t get foul calls. Wuss. Movies that make me cry even at thought of them – Remember the Titans, We Are Marshall, Mighty Ducks, Cool Runnings, Hoosiers, Rudy… Ok I must stop. Tears are welling up. I think it has something to do with the camradarie and team unity. I sound gay. I’ll stop. In conclusion, I want to be on the Jamaican (2 man) bobsled team with Leo.

Brand new episode… kinda. Jon intros this all-new edition for you all. Give us ideas for Youtube videos and leave us comments too!

The opening clip is a remake of our answering machine greeting from freshman year of college… makes the ladies want to call us all the time. Not really.