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voting day in virginia is fast approaching. recent polls show that republican candidate bob mcdonnell has a huge lead over democrat creigh deeds in the race for virginia governer. it will most likely be a landslide victory for bob mcdonnell. if this was a football game, then creigh deeds would  be the redskins and bob mcdonnell would be any other football team in america, including the dc divas of the women’s pro football league.  ok, story time. i once ran for class secretary at olde creek elementary school in 5th grade. my classmates nominated me to run but i really didn’t want to. but i figured that i had a chance to win and be popular with the ladies. so i did it because i do it all for the ladies. my opponent was this kid named cameron. he had dreamy hazel green eyes and a body built to the exact specifications of michaelangelo’s david. i had no chance. i thought the only way i could compete with him was to create a killer poster that would hang in the hallways for all the students to see and be in awe of. i spent all night creating a masterpiece using crayola washable markers and glitter glue. on the poster, this is what i wrote: "vote danny for class secratary. put a check next to my name!" i thought that tagline was genius. i thought my poster was the best thing ever until my teacher pointed out to me that i spelled secretary wrong. an ‘a’ is not supposed to be there. fml. i was running for secretary and i can’t even freakin’ spell secretary. to make up for this disaster, i really had to give a kick-ass speech to sway some kids to vote for me. i had to give a speech in front of the entire school and to this day, i’ve never been more nervous in my life. i wrote my speech on a 3×5 index card. i can’t remember exactly what i wrote but it went something like this: "hi, my name is danny and i’m running for class secrAtary. i think i will be a good class secrAtary. i will do a good job as class secrAtary. please vote for me for class secrAtary. thank you." after i gave my speech, i heard only 3 people clap for me: my teacher and 2 fat kids from special ed. my friend told me that no one was able to hear me because i didn’t speak into the microphone and i mumbled throughout the whole 10 second speech. so of course i lost. i would’ve received 0% of the votes but i didn’t because i voted for myself. so the following week, i was on my way home from school when i noticed that cameron and the other newly elected officers had to stay after school for an officer’s meeting. i realized that losing the election was the best thing that could’ve happened to me. i was elated because i didn’t have to stay after school. what kid in their right mind wants to do that? so while cameron was in a meeting taking notes and discussing topics such as new erasers for the school store, i was at home eating cheetos and playing super tecmo bowl. ha-ha. secretary cameron can suck it!

Tags: 35th district, danny smith, dc divas, fml, is for lovers, korean, mark keam, maryland, redskins, school election, special teams, virginia, washington